Interested in WEIRD Wally's Star Trek spoof CD? CLICK HERE to email him for details.

Welcome Aboard!

Weird Wally is proud to present A TRIBUTE TO STAR TREK on its 30th anniversary!
Wait... that's almost 40th anniversary by now. You can tell how old this page is.

THE ABOVE SILLINESS used to be a clickable image map- but something has gone awry and it's just a plain old image.
Further evidence of the age of this page is this excerpt from the original version, "If your computer is sound-enabled and able to play .WAV files..."

Most of the files are below 150K and should download quickly. See below for a complete list of the files

Files available:

Bridge background (all sounds done "A Capella" by WIERD Wally's voices)
(WAV version) 36k|(MP3 version) 8kK
Kirk (WAV version) 37k|(MP3 version) 9kK
McCoy (WAV version) 59k|(MP3 version) 14kK
Spock (WAV version) 110k|(MP3 version) 25kK
Uhura (WAV version) 131k|(MP3 version) 30kK

Wacky Trek sound bites to use on your computer system:

Bones verbally abuses Spock, and Spock says "Eat my shorts"
(WAV version) 79k|(MP3 version) 18k
Kirk: "Scotty, we've got to get that bandwidth up!" Scott: "Aye sir!"
(WAV version) 39k|(MP3 version) 9k
Bones: "I'm a website, not a doctor!"
(WAV version) 31k|(MP3 version) 7k
Picard: "Helm, engage website! Maximum bandwidth!"
(WAV version) 31k|(MP3 version) 7k
Scott: "We're gettin' too many hits sir! The server, she can't take it no more!"
(WAV version) 42k|(MP3 version) 10k
Scott: "Aye!" (Use with "YES" button)
(WAV version) 9k|(MP3 version) 2k
Scott: "Uh, no, sir" (Use with "NO" button)
(WAV version) 11k|(MP3 version) 3k
Scott: "Cancel! Ya don't know what'll happen, lad!"
(WAV version) 28k|(MP3 version) 7k
Sulu: "Aye, sir, Warp Factor Eight"
(WAV version) 34k|(MP3 version) 8k
Sulu: "Aye, Captain, activating Internet" (Sulu's maniacal laugh included...AT NO EXTRA CHARGE!!!!)
(WAV version) 56k|(MP3 version) 13k
Sulu: "What are you doing on my ship? And what am I doing on Star Trek Voyager?" (Again, ends with Sulu's maniacal laugh.)
(WAV version) 76k|(MP3 version) 18k
Mixed bag: Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Spock
(WAV version) 153k|(MP3 version) 35k
Mixed bag: Voyager Doctor, Sulu, Talosian, Tribbles purring the address to Wallys WEIRD Website.
(WAV version) 186k|(MP3 version) 42k
Kirk, Spock, and Scotty, on the bridge of the Enterprise during a General Protection Fault. Also includes 3 or 4 tracks of my voice in the background, doing acapella impression of bridge sound effects.
(WAV version) 132k|(MP3 version) 30k

Voyager's doctor: "Me, I am just the emergency medical supplement! You'll have to find yourselves a real doctor!"
(WAV version) 75k|(MP3 version) 12K

Other Places ...

FIRST: Other Star Trek related pages on Wallys WEIRD Website...

Captain's Log

Madame Captain Updated

ENTERPRISE F, from the NEW Star Trek film!

Weird Wally has managed to acquire rare glimpses of the Freiberger Class Enterprise-F to be used in the next movie titled Star Trek XII: These are the Voyages, directed by Irwin Allen and starring Madonna (not positive on these points)!

Weird Wally is still not sure where Paramount plans to use this ship, but insiders have suggested it will used by Captain Kirk, when he attempts to reprise his role as the resurrected Iron Chef, King of the Nexus and five-time president of the Toupee Club for Men.

...AND SECONDLY, another site...
John Cook's Sev Trek site
John Cook's a cool cartoonist living in Australia. His "Sev Trek" cartoon occasionally features sound enabled cartoons and animations, with voices by Moi!

Li'l Trekers ...

Billy, Age 5

Weird Wally's FIRST "Li'l Treker" Billy of Lake Watchataqua Falls, Arkensota sends us this bitmap...isn't it cute?

One bit of advice, Billy: when you grow up, please don't buy any guns!

Another Cheesy Graphic

Mikey, Age 2

Little Mikey sends this darling graphic all the way from Landfill Heights, Michinois. Yes Mikey, Weird Wally does all the voices on this web site. Unfortunately, Patrick Stewart could not fly out from Britain to my home in the states, to record a free sound bite for you, so I'm forced to improvise and use my voice.

To learn more about my Voice Acting career in Multimedia, Radio, TV, and the fast track world of Telephone Voice Prompts, just go to my HOME PAGE.

If you or anyone you know are able to draw like an idiot, please submit your work to Weird Wally consider adding it to the site! Remember, if you draw well with a mouse, you might want to use your other hand!!

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